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Purpose, Passion and Leadership

 

Purpose Passion and Leadership

Purpose Passion and Leadership

I was recently with a client and we were discussing coping methods.  Coping methods are ways to deal with challenges that we face as well as ways we can help to reduce troublesome symptoms we are dealing with. There are many traditional coping strategies – breathing techniques, exercise, meditation, walking, art, distraction methods, spending time with others etc.  Some of these techniques work well for some people while other techniques just don’t seem to fit.   In my experience, the ultimate coping method is always the one that is most in line with the individual.  This means that for a coping strategy to be most effective it has to connect with the person’s passion or purpose.  What I want to address today is how passion and purpose is connected to leadership.

So what do mental health coping methods have to do with leadership?  More than you think.  Leadership is in the midst of a shift.  This is mostly well known, however, old ways of leading still seem to be prevalent within some organizations.  What we are finding through research and effective training programs is that true leadership comes from inspiration, not from authoritarian demands or unapproachable hierarchy that pushes work downstream without consideration of how it impacts others.  True leaders are followed by those that are happy to be working for them because they feel inspired to do so.  Effective leaders build the next generation of leaders within any system and work in a way that is fueled by purpose and resonance with the mission at hand.

According to research by the Center for Creative Leadership, survey results show that 84% of respondents in organizations see leadership changing in the last 10 years.  The focus is shifting from an individual outcomes perspective to that of collaboration, teamwork and longer term objectives.

Another article by HR Magazine emphasizes that leadership is shifting towards less hierarchy and more inclusiveness and understanding of the needs of others.  To build an inclusive environment, one needs to lead through effective listening, empathy and to be leading through inspiration rather than demand.

Even in some environments where leadership may looked at as a harsher more demand oriented situation, this is not always the case.  For example, I was recently listening to one of Tim Ferriss’s podcast interviews where he interviewed General Stan McChrystal about his experience in the military.   One of the questions was  regarding what was one of General McChrystal’s pet peeves about how military life is depicted in the media.  His answer was great!  General McChrystal went on to discuss how even though he knew the stereotypical “hard” leaders in the military, that were cold, demanding and difficult to approach, this type of leader was less common.   He went on to report that the most effective leaders, and the majority, led by inspiring their teams and those they were leading.

So the question remains what do coping methods have to do with leadership?  Stick with me, we are on the way.   Since we know that the most effective leadership methods have to do with inspiring and engaging others rather than cold, hard demands, then the first question is this –

How do we build leaders that inspire?

One answer to this is found in the search for finding ones ideal coping method.   To be able to lead through inspiration means leaders have to understand what inspires them.  Being inspirational is achieved through truly knowing your own passion and purpose and then pursuing it.  Through creating congruence between what we value and how it is being expressed, we can explore our passion and purpose.  The days of “do what I say not what I do” are fading away.  Understanding what we are passionate about not only gives us an opportunity to be better leaders but also helps us to cope with stress and challenges more effectively.  If we combine our contagious passion with our ability to self-regulate, people will be truly inspired.

Finding ones passion and purpose may be complicated.  We may have some passions that are present in our professional lives and some that are more active in our non-work life.  For instance, an organizational leader may have a passion for sales in the work world but also have a passion for lifting weights in his non-work life.  This person may also know that they function at a higher level when they are actively pursuing both passions, in a sales role at work while using weight lifting as their non-work passion.  This example of weight lifting may be this person’s coping strategy in dealing with work stress, conflict or anxiety.  This person’s pursuit of this coping method not only impacts their ability to function outside of work, but makes them happier and more productive while in their work role.

Understanding what we are passionate about in and outside of work is important – and certainly impactful in both directions.   Focusing on our strengths and where we exceed, in addition to tapping into what helps us stay balanced, will create a great expression of our passion and purpose, and allow us to become true leaders.

I’ll leave you with these questions below –

What is your passion or purpose?

How did you discover it?

How do you actively pursue it?

Best,

Michael

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15 Tips for a Path to Greatness

15 Tips for a Path to Greatness | Arc Integrated

In my experience in relationships, with others and myself, I have found many qualities that stand out.  In those times when I’ve felt successful or times when I’ve looked up to others, I have seen particular qualities stand out.  These qualities seem to shine with importance.  I  have found that these qualities are ones that are present in those that I look up to or consider to be true leaders.  There may be some cross over here and a bit of redundancy, but that’s probably because those points are especially important.  Follow these tips to build a path to greatness in your life.

  1. Don’t Quit–When you think you are ready to give up, keep pushing yourself. You are capable of more. Need some more motivation? See these five key strategies on authentic motivation!
  2. Be Kind – Remember when you were told this in Kindergarten? It still applies.  This is such a basic principle that we often lose sight of. Remember that there is an opportunity for this every day – hold a door, leave a tip, express to someone their importance to you or offer a compliment.
  3. Don’t Assume – You know what they say….I hope. Our assumptions often prevent us from truly connecting with one another. Check them when they come up to see if they are really based on a current perception or something from some other time and place.
  4. Push Yourself Further Than You Think You’re Capable of Going – This is how you can build your own self-efficacy. Try this in multiple areas of your life to boost confidence in relationships, fitness, finance, and career.
  5. Be Uncomfortable – I had a professor in graduate school, one of my best mentors to date. He ran a class on group therapy that focused on being mindful of your present experience and expressing it authentically.  He said something once that has always stuck with me – “If you are not on the edge of your seat sweating, you are not working hard enough.”  His point was that these times of discomfort, uncertainty, or insecurity are the times for action and areas we should move towards, not away from.  It’s OK to be uncomfortable, this is where we grow.
  6. Take Risks – Similar to being uncomfortable, taking risks is important. We cannot predict the future or know-how our decisions will impact us until we act! Taking risks towards growth in business, career or relationships is important.  Of course, understanding the risk is important too.  Prevent “paralysis by analysis” through taking action.
  7. Take on Your Fears – How are your fears getting in your way? Challenging your fear and moving past it means facing it.  Moving towards your fear through embracing it in whatever way you see fit, is a road to development.  For example – if your fear is of never getting a raise, then maybe the opportunity is to make a case for why you should have one, and bring it to your boss.
  8. Embrace Your Passions – Do you know what you are passionate about? This is part of what defines who you are.  Don’t let your passions come second, build a life around them and watch yourself flourish!
  9. Focus on Building Your Strengths – We often think we need to improve our weaknesses.  While there may be some good insight in understanding our challenges, improving our strengths is a greater predictor of success.  According to research by Gallup, identifying your top strengths and building them offers the greatest return on investment.  This is found to be true in many areas of life including work, hobby, and interpersonal relationships.
  10. Lead by Example and Be Congruent – Take time to understand what your truly value. Let Your Values Show in how you live your life.  If you are unsure, consider working with a therapist or coach.  Have you ever dealt with a boss, teacher or mentor that seemed to act in a different way than they promoted?  How did this sit with you?  I imagine that it was harder to take them seriously.  Should you want to be a better partner, leader, boss, parent or mentor – it is necessary to be an example of what you state is important.
  11. Take Action – Our intentions, thoughts, and plans are a great step but only part of a change we seek. Knowing is NOT half the battle. Remember this quote –“You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do.” – C.G. Jung
  12. Challenge Authority and Ask Questions – I think I have my mother to thank for this one. This lesson was ingrained in me at an early age, which I am grateful for. Remember that just because someone is in a position of authority doesn’t mean that they are in a position of truth. If something doesn’t resonate with you then ask questions, do your research and discover for yourself.   Remember that it is OK to ask!  If you don’t understand something or want to challenge it, then do so.  Staying in a frame of mind of uncertainty or ignorance puts you at a disadvantage.
  13. Stand Up for Others – There are injustices all around us. We see this on a large scale when we watch the news, witnessing hunger, war, manipulation, and other forms of chaos. However, we see this in our daily lives too.  At work when someone is isolated or picked on, in our social events when someone is not included, or in our family’s when someone is scape-goated.  These are all opportunities to stand up for others.
  14. Ask How You Can Support Others – Want to become more successful? Start asking others how you can help them instead of how they can help you. Just like building any relationship, supporting others builds rapport and a sense of trust. Not only will this come back to you but you get the chance to see others do well (see numbers two and 13).
  15. Embrace Abundance – I could easily do an entire post on this….maybe I will. Our focus on what lacks, what isn’t working, what we are scared of, what isn’t available to us; is all a mindset. This can be countered with a simple shift in perspective.  What if we believed in collaboration instead of competition?  What if we were convinced that there is plenty of opportunity, clients, resources, love, support, money, etc. out there?  Try it out, give yourself a challenge, and see what happens.

Thanks!

Michael

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The Pace of Change

 

The Pace of Change

Maintaining change takes time, and you will probably experience some hiccups along the way.  As you may have heard, change is not a sprint, it’s a marathon.  But what does this mean?  To me it means that to be successful with change there needs to be regular diligent practice over longer periods of time.  This isn’t the only key to maintaining change, but a key component.  Remember that to reach a change of pace you need to understand the pace of change.

I recently entered into a 100 day challenge, which I wrote about a few weeks ago.   This challenge is around being very intentional with my mornings.  This has proved to be an effective strategy in implementing a new change.  I have learned a lot about my strengths and challenges and what things push me back towards old habits.  I have taken an approach of diligence and curiosity though, not embracing failure when things didn’t go the way I expected.  This took some getting used to though.  Today is day 85 and by now my routine feels pretty normal, I’m enjoying it.

Any change in behavior or pattern takes time.  To help drive home the point of maintaining a successful change over time, I’ve created a reminder.  The reminder is to pace yourself.  To help you remember, consider this device –

P.A.C.E.

P – Patience

A – Acceptance

C – Control

E – Empathy

Interestingly, the terms patience, acceptance, control and empathy are all very important should you want to be successful with a change. Let me explain –

Patience – Since we know that change takes time, patience is of the utmost importance.  Often time’s changes are not successful because we don’t practice long enough, or wait out the new pattern long enough for it to truly set in.  Being patient in your process as you create a new way of being will lead you to continue on and not give up prior to completion.

Acceptance – In the midst of a new lifestyle, some days will be great, others not so much.  Accept this.  The fact that you’re having a bad day or that your practice in implementing a change was not as great as yesterdays, does not mean failure.  Some challenges may get in our way when we are in the midst of a change.  It is important to accept what may be out of our control.

Control – Very connected to acceptance, knowing what is in our control and what isn’t, is an important part of the path towards change.  However, the reason I separate acceptance from control is that ultimately we are in control of perception, just not the event that precedes it.  What this means is that when we are faced with challenges, we always get to control our own perception and interpretation towards the situation.  We have the choice to be victims or masters of our challenges.

Empathy – Times of change can be hard.  Having empathy for yourself through the process of change is crucial.  So what does self-empathy mean? It means staying connected to yourself in the process and allowing yourself to make mistakes along the way and knowing that it is ok.   Allowing yourself to make mistakes along the way and not giving up is a recipe for long lasting change.  For example, there will be times when you plan to implement a change or practice a new behavior and you get set back by old patterns and ways of being. Its ok to have setbacks, just don’t let those setbacks be translated into a quitting mindset.  Having empathy towards yourself will help to increase the likelihood of not giving up at setback and ultimately reaching your goals.

So next time you are facing a change or working through a goal, consider pacing yourself.

Questions to consider

What changes are you working towards?

How can you implement the PACE acronym in making your desired change successful?

What holds you back from taking action?

Please feel free to comment below with any answers to these questions, new ideas or other questions.

Best,

Michael

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Counseling Skills in Business

When considering how a field like counseling or psychology may be relevant in business, one thing that comes to mind is the idea of change.  In the fast pace environment that most companies exist in, change is one constant that we can count on.  Whether this means a merger, a management shift, an organizational restructuring or simply a new hire, the business’s challenge is how to adjust to these shifts regularly.  Those in a supervisory role are tasked with how they can improve management skills to impact employee performance.  The following is an example of a management skill that supervisors can utilize to impact change.

An orientation in counseling that also works as a people management skill, is an approach called Motivational Interviewing (MI). MI is defined as “A collaborative conversation to strengthen a person’s own motivation for and commitment to change”.  This approach focuses on ambivalence towards change and works with an individual to increase motivation for change.  When discussing the ambivalence towards a change, one strategy to consider within MI, is called “OARS” (Open Ended Questions, Affirmation, Reflections and Summary).  The communication style of “OARS” is only a small part of MI.  However, when working with employees, managers and executives, “OARS” can be utilized to help understand why/how a change is taking place and what obstacles stand in the way.  The idea behind “OARS” is that the person using this strategy is asking open ending questions, affirming what the other has to say, reflecting on their statements and summarizing what they are saying in order to build clarity.

For example, a manager is trying to decide the most effective way to approach an employee and address performance issues.  The communication style of “OARS” utilized in MI may be particularly helpful when looking at what kinds of changes this employee needs to make in order to get the expected results.  A challenge many managers face is how to elicit a change without making the employee resentful or offended.  If a manager is particularly savvy, they will understand the value of inspiring an employee to make a change, rather than coercing. MI can help make the process of inspiring change more effective, through reducing an employee’s ambivalence and address the advantages of making this change.  MI has been effective in helping people address a change they are uncertain of, as well as address how to go about making it.  For more information on MI, please see- www.motivationalinterviewing.org

Thank you!

Michael

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