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Expressing Your Anger at Work

 

Expressing Your Anger at Work

Expressing Your Anger at Work

Getting frustrated at work is common.  However, how you express it or don’t, may greatly influence the environment that you’re in, as well as future opportunity.  While expressing your anger at work may be generally frowned upon, there are certainly strategies that will help with this process.  Consider these three tips below when expressing your anger at work.

  1. Timing is important – Remember that when you are anger this may not be the time to resolve an issue. However, coming back to a situation after decompressing and letting the parties involved know how it impacted you will allow you to be a better communicator and express the importance of the situation, improving the likelihood of resolution.
  2. Understand what helps you decompress – Having an understanding of what kinds of strategies are most effective for you in reducing anger is important.  This may be walking, exercise, writing, listening to music or a wide variety of other things.  Taking the time to explore what works best will benefit you in the long run and give you the chance to effectively express and reduce anger instead of letting it become a problem.
  3. Remember the context – This is a very important component. Even though telling someone exactly how you feel may seem like the best idea at the time, the context may suggest otherwise.  Being mindful of how and where you are expressing anger, if at all, may be a very important factor to consider.

The better question to ask may be how to reduce anger in general.  Understanding how to control our feelings may be beneficial in many different environments. Having the ability to respond to events rather than react, may serve us well.  If we know how to control our sense of reactivity then we may respond in a more appropriate way. Understanding ourselves, how we respond/react and triggers that we have, may involve some self-exploration.

Interestingly, the expression of anger may be totally culturally contextual anyway.  In our culture we tend to look at the expression of anger to be generally unfavorable.  In other cultures expression of anger may actually be of health benefit.  In a study by The Association for Psychological Science, they found that expression of anger in Japanese culture was associated with better biological health.  This suggests that anger isn’t necessarily positive or negative but the meaning that it is applied to it may impact the results of its expression.

This idea of exploring our anger to identify what kind of meaning we apply to it may give us another reason for self-exploration.   Certainly the negative or positive consequences of expressing anger are still being studied.  In the meantime, we do know that improving our understanding of self and how we respond and react can have a great impact on our work and home environments.

 

Thanks,

Michael

 

If you are curious to learn more about personal development, workplace challenges, interpersonal dynamics, goal achievement and a wide variety of other topics, sign up today! www.www.arcintegrated.com/newsletter.  It’s totally free.

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The Human Side of Business

The Human Side of Business - Arc Integrated

The Human Side of Business – Arc Integrated

In a featured article within Askmen.com titled Ways Relationships are like Business we explored the human side of business.   The idea of businesses having more to do with people, relationships, connection and communication is a cornerstone of the work we do at Arc Integrated.

 

Please see three ideas below on how relationships are like business.

 

If you skipped ahead and are curious about the three ideas, here they are –

1.) Don’t be desperate

2.) Slow and steady wins the race

3.) Mind the focus

You’ll have to watch the video for how to apply these ideas.

We are curious about your experience with the dynamic of relationships and business.  As a spring board for comments, consider answering any of these three questions below –

 

How have you seen the human side of the business you are involved in impact the success or struggle of that business?

What other examples can you provide regarding the commonalities between business and relationships?

What is one thing you would change about the interpersonal dynamics of your workplace?

Thanks,

Michael

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Inspiration and Engagement in the Workplace

Inspiration and Engagement in the Workplace

Inspiration and Engagement in the Workplace

I recently wrote an article for a website called inspiremetoday.com.  This article answered the question –

“If you only had 500 words to share, what wisdom would you want to pass on to humanity”

Of course this is a complicated question, but fun to answer.  My answer consisted of ways to build inspiration, courage, congruence etc.  I wondered though, how does one hold on to inspiration?  I want to take this opportunity to discuss not only how to hold inspiration but particularly how to hold inspiration and engagement in the workplace, where most of us spend the majority of our time.

Inspiration is hard to hold on to sometimes.  However, this should be of primary concern to companies.  Here are three tips identifying why it may be beneficial to inspire employees and encourage employee engagement –

  • Employee turnover is expensive, unproductive and challenging.  Keeping employees engaged and enthusiastic about their work will reduce employee turnover and ultimately reduce costs and lost productivity for the company.
  • Most employees report that one of the most desired components of a positive work experience is being appreciated. One way to show appreciation for employees is making sure they are engaged in what they are doing, thus improving employee experience and reducing likelihood of turnover
  • Understanding the match between the company’s values and employee’s values is important.  If this is unclear, consider bringing in consultants or coaches that can evaluate and mediate this discussion.

So this may pose the question – how does a company get leadership to buy into this importance of employee engagement?

Companies can encourage leadership to understand the importance of employee engagement through modeling it. This means that HR and executive leaders should feel engaged in their work so that they can experience the value of what they will be teaching to other leaders in the company.

If leaders are experiencing a congruence between the values of the company and their own values, this will certainly inspire employees in the workplace.   This does seem relatively intuitive in nature, that if values match then positive outcomes will result. However, now there is a building mountain of evidence to support the importance of engagement, value alignment and inspired employees, as it relates to the successful business.

For example, according to Towers Watson, companies with a  highly engaged workforce improved operating income by 19.2% over a 12 month period while companies with lower engagement saw a 32.7% decrease in operating income.

However, according to a study by Accenture, less than 50% of chief financial officers appear to understand the return on investment in human capital.   Even though this may be changing, continued awareness is important.  For additional evidence regarding the value of addressing engagement and other human dynamic issues, here is an extensive list of studies pointing to the value of improving employee engagement, culture and satisfaction.

How is your current level of engagement in your work?

What would it take to inspire you?

Best,

Michael

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The Best Way to Improve Productivity

 

The Best Way to Improve Productivity

The Best Way to Improve Productivity

There are an endless amount of resources out there for how to improve productivity.  In my search I did not find a definitive answer to the best way to improve productivity.  I think there is an answer to this question though.  The best way to improve productivity….is your way.

Finding out ways to hack your own laziness, distraction or “busy” lifestyle is tricky.  But the most effective way to improve productivity will be the one that is most connected to you.  A place to start when identifying what kinds of practices to experiment with may be the endless lists online, such as this one on – boosting productivity in real life.   As you may notice, I even wrote one of these tips.  The tips and strategies are definitely good to start with.

Experimentation and practice is where the rubber hits the road.  The next step is exploring the strategies in a way that answers the question of – how does those strategy resonate with me?   Using strategies that are most connected to who you are will yield the best results.

There are certainly some exercises and strategies that are more about self-exploration than others.  Here is a short list of strategies that may help to improve productivity, but more importantly offer the opportunity to explore what’s holding you back, and who you are.

Personal Development and Productivity

Take a vacation 

This may seem counter intuitive since taking a vacation is not necessarily the most “productive” of activities. However, letting go of some of the demands and hustle for a few days can help you to re-identify what is truly important, as well as give you a boost of energy when you return.

Create a daily practice

When looking at habits and common traits of successful people, one thing is usually consistent, they have some sort of regular practice. Having a daily practice helps to create mindfulness, discipline and routine – all things that impact productivity.

Practice discipline, everyday

Similar to the daily practice, focusing on ways to practice discipline can help to build routine and productivity in many areas in life. Discipline can be practiced in a number of ways through fitness, healthy eating, work duties, behavior in relationships, self-reflection and many other aspects in life.  The practice of the discipline itself may be just as important as the goal related to it.

Get up and move

You may have heard the recent commentary about sitting being the new smoking. There is substantial research to back up the idea of sedentary lifestyle greatly impacting health, wellbeing and productivity.   Exploring ways that help you to enjoy regular daily movement will make these little breaks easier to commit to and more likely to stick.  Again, this is about personal exploration of what works for you.

Explore your passions and purpose

Understanding what you are passionate about will help in building strategy around all of the previously mentioned tips. If you aren’t sure, that’s ok, start experimenting.  Start with these two questions –

  • What would I love to do every day if I had an unlimited amount of money?
  • If I had unlimited resources and I could only do one thing to help the world, what would it be?

How have you enhanced your own productivity? 

Thanks,

Michael

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Maintain Change Through Coaching

 

 

Maintain Change Through Coaching

Maintain Change Through Coaching

I was thinking recently about my own personal philosophy about how to really maintain change when searching for it, as well as how I bring this philosophy into my coaching practice.  As with most things I do, I take a holistic approach, which is the same for my coaching philosophy.   The following ideas can be taken as a guide to maintain change through coaching as well as a guide to understand how I work as a coach.

When working towards change, particularly when it comes to personal development, it is important to see all the aspects that may be helping or hurting progress.  We are complicated creatures.  Working towards the best version of ourselves is not just about thinking in a different way or practicing good habits (although these are pieces of the puzzle).

True change comes from evaluating all the aspects of our human experience.  When we look through all of our different lenses, we have the greatest likelihood for success.  We need to explore how we think, feel, act, take care of ourselves, strengths we have as well what/who we surround ourselves with.

As a helpful reminder for you, I’ve created a way to remember how you can check to see if you are evaluating the different parts of yourself and what may be helping or hurting your progress.  Consider the acronym CHANGE –

C – Cognition

H – Heart

A – Action

N – Nourishment

G – Greatness

E – Environment

Each part of this acronym has some important components to consider –

 

Cognition – The way we think.  Do you analyze, make decisions quickly, not quickly enough, make strong judgments, think poorly of yourself or too highly perhaps?  Both the way we think and what we focus on may be impacting our ability to change.

Heart – How we feel.  Our emotions play a big part in our ability to be successful.  If we can remain confident, happy, grateful, curious and positive then we may have a greater chance to work towards change.  If we are negative, depressed, sad, angry, overly reactive or closed off from our emotions we may have a harder time moving towards the change we are working on.  How we feel can also be related to our relationships and how they impact our ability to change.

Action – Habits and routines play a big role in our ability to change.  Thinking and feeling are important but it is the actions that we take that impact how our feelings and thoughts change.   Our action or inaction can play a big role in our ability to push things forward towards our desired outcome.

Nourishment – How we take care of ourselves.  It is not news that the way we eat, how much we exercise, and our general lifestyle all impact multiple facets of our lives.  This is the same for any change we are after. How we treat our body impacts our motivation, energy, creativity, strength and focus.  Considering how we are nourishing ourselves is important.

Greatness – What are your strengths, purpose, and passion? This is what makes up your greatness.  Exploring what is great about you not only leads to creating better leadership but also fulfillment, higher energy, better coping methods and a happier lifestyle.

Environment – What we surround ourselves with. I believe it was Jim Rohn who originally quoted – “We are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with.” This is a powerful quote and I believe it to be relevant.  When it comes to our own development, our environment goes beyond the people we are around.  Our environment could be our family, work, our city, community, or how our house looks and feels.   For example, if you know you function at a higher level when things are organized then keeping your house clean and in order may be an important factor in your own development.

All of these factors within the CHANGE acronym are important to explore during coaching.  When I work with clients this is part of the process I take them through.  My belief is that unless we focus on all of the potential areas that may be influencing our ability to make a change then we are leaving opportunity on the table.

It is also important to remember that any change one may be working towards takes time.  Remember that there is a particular pace that change takes. Be kind to yourself along the way.

Enjoy the journey,

Michael

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Purpose, Passion and Leadership

 

Purpose Passion and Leadership

Purpose Passion and Leadership

I was recently with a client and we were discussing coping methods.  Coping methods are ways to deal with challenges that we face as well as ways we can help to reduce troublesome symptoms we are dealing with. There are many traditional coping strategies – breathing techniques, exercise, meditation, walking, art, distraction methods, spending time with others etc.  Some of these techniques work well for some people while other techniques just don’t seem to fit.   In my experience, the ultimate coping method is always the one that is most in line with the individual.  This means that for a coping strategy to be most effective it has to connect with the person’s passion or purpose.  What I want to address today is how passion and purpose is connected to leadership.

So what do mental health coping methods have to do with leadership?  More than you think.  Leadership is in the midst of a shift.  This is mostly well known, however, old ways of leading still seem to be prevalent within some organizations.  What we are finding through research and effective training programs is that true leadership comes from inspiration, not from authoritarian demands or unapproachable hierarchy that pushes work downstream without consideration of how it impacts others.  True leaders are followed by those that are happy to be working for them because they feel inspired to do so.  Effective leaders build the next generation of leaders within any system and work in a way that is fueled by purpose and resonance with the mission at hand.

According to research by the Center for Creative Leadership, survey results show that 84% of respondents in organizations see leadership changing in the last 10 years.  The focus is shifting from an individual outcomes perspective to that of collaboration, teamwork and longer term objectives.

Another article by HR Magazine emphasizes that leadership is shifting towards less hierarchy and more inclusiveness and understanding of the needs of others.  To build an inclusive environment, one needs to lead through effective listening, empathy and to be leading through inspiration rather than demand.

Even in some environments where leadership may looked at as a harsher more demand oriented situation, this is not always the case.  For example, I was recently listening to one of Tim Ferriss’s podcast interviews where he interviewed General Stan McChrystal about his experience in the military.   One of the questions was  regarding what was one of General McChrystal’s pet peeves about how military life is depicted in the media.  His answer was great!  General McChrystal went on to discuss how even though he knew the stereotypical “hard” leaders in the military, that were cold, demanding and difficult to approach, this type of leader was less common.   He went on to report that the most effective leaders, and the majority, led by inspiring their teams and those they were leading.

So the question remains what do coping methods have to do with leadership?  Stick with me, we are on the way.   Since we know that the most effective leadership methods have to do with inspiring and engaging others rather than cold, hard demands, then the first question is this –

How do we build leaders that inspire?

One answer to this is found in the search for finding ones ideal coping method.   To be able to lead through inspiration means leaders have to understand what inspires them.  Being inspirational is achieved through truly knowing your own passion and purpose and then pursuing it.  Through creating congruence between what we value and how it is being expressed, we can explore our passion and purpose.  The days of “do what I say not what I do” are fading away.  Understanding what we are passionate about not only gives us an opportunity to be better leaders but also helps us to cope with stress and challenges more effectively.  If we combine our contagious passion with our ability to self-regulate, people will be truly inspired.

Finding ones passion and purpose may be complicated.  We may have some passions that are present in our professional lives and some that are more active in our non-work life.  For instance, an organizational leader may have a passion for sales in the work world but also have a passion for lifting weights in his non-work life.  This person may also know that they function at a higher level when they are actively pursuing both passions, in a sales role at work while using weight lifting as their non-work passion.  This example of weight lifting may be this person’s coping strategy in dealing with work stress, conflict or anxiety.  This person’s pursuit of this coping method not only impacts their ability to function outside of work, but makes them happier and more productive while in their work role.

Understanding what we are passionate about in and outside of work is important – and certainly impactful in both directions.   Focusing on our strengths and where we exceed, in addition to tapping into what helps us stay balanced, will create a great expression of our passion and purpose, and allow us to become true leaders.

I’ll leave you with these questions below –

What is your passion or purpose?

How did you discover it?

How do you actively pursue it?

Best,

Michael

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The Power of Personal Development Coaching

The Power of Personal Development Coaching - Arc Integrated

The Power of Personal Development Coaching – Arc Integrated

I was inspired by a good friend who asked me once – “Why would someone hire a coach?”   My thinking is that personal development coaching is relevant to any type of coaching.  It’s relevant because exploring our beliefs, behaviors, aspirations and expectations are reflected in our career, relationships or any change we are seeking.  These are all elements that contribute to the power of personal development coaching.

While there certainly could be many answers to my friend’s question, it had me curious about some statistics.  I wanted to find out specifically who and why people are generally using coaches.  It seems that through my digging, I’ve uncovered some truth to my original thought.   Before we dive into what I found, let’s look over what it means to be a coach.

Coaches can come with a variety of titles but most commonly seen are – Executive Coaches, Life/Personal Coaches, Leadership Coaches or Career Coaches.   Coaching has some similarities to therapy but is definitely different in the sense that there is not an emphasis on processing a particular pain or dysfunction and more emphasis on goal setting and personal optimization.  For more information see this article on Counseling vs. Coaching.

Coaches typically help individuals or organizations identify goals, set commitments and build on strengths to make individual or group changes that will influence improvement.   Coaching is definitely on the rise, as now more than 30 American universities have coaching programs.

The International Coaching Federation (ICF), the leading professional organization for coaches has about 25,000 in its membership.   Also according to the International Coaching Federation, the number of coaches in the nation has tripled in the last 10 years.  As stigma for coaching continues to go down and the coaching profession evolves, this numbered is expected to continue to grow.  Overall the two most reported conditions worked on through coaching are work-life balance and personal growth.  In another study by the ICF, coaching shows to improve many life domains from productivity to self-confidence.

Coaching is often found with organizations or with executives.  According to a study  The Miles Group and Stanford University – nearly 1/3 of all executives receive coaching, while 100% report to want it.   Also in this study, it was found that 43% of executives surveyed report that conflict management was a top priority when it comes to coaching.  It was found that leadership and communication skills also rank high in areas that are being coached on.

Interestingly though it may be some other skills that needed to be focused on when it comes to leadership and executive coaching.  Skills like compassion, empathy and self-awareness are starting to gain momentum due to the coaching field having less stigma.  In addition, according to research by Northwesterns School of Management, it is shown that as power increases, ability to understand how others feel and think, decreases.  This is where coaching on self-awareness and empathy may play a crucial role.  As someone’s responsibility and leadership increases so does the importance of their ability to connect with others, a crucial component of an effective leader.

According to a survey by the Harvard Business Review – while only 3% of coaches were hired to help address a personal issue, 76% report to have assisted executives with personal issues.  This again points back to the fact that even in “executive coaching” scenarios, there is a key focus on personal development.   This survey also found that the most success was found in individuals who were willing to address personal issues and had a desire to learn and grow.

So the question becomes – “is coaching worth it?”  According to a study by Manchester Consulting Group who looked at Fortune 100 executives who had received coaching, there was an ROI six times the coaching program cost.  Coaching resulted in improvements in relationships, teamwork and job satisfaction.

To me it depends on level of commitment and readiness for change.  If someone is certain that they are ready to take a look inward to determine what is creating a barrier to success, then coaching could be a great avenue for this!

Best,

Michael

 

P.S. If you are curious to learn more about personal development, effective workplace culture, dynamic leadership  and a wide variety of other topics, sign up today! www.arcintegrated.com/book.  It’s totally free.

You’ll also receive Chapter One (for FREE) from the upcoming book – CHANGES.  This book explores seven themes of sustainable change so that you can finally achieve the professional and personal goals you have been striving for but keep missing. 

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15 Tips for a Path to Greatness

15 Tips for a Path to Greatness | Arc Integrated

In my experience in relationships, with others and myself, I have found many qualities that stand out.  In those times when I’ve felt successful or times when I’ve looked up to others, I have seen particular qualities stand out.  These qualities seem to shine with importance.  I  have found that these qualities are ones that are present in those that I look up to or consider to be true leaders.  There may be some cross over here and a bit of redundancy, but that’s probably because those points are especially important.  Follow these tips to build a path to greatness in your life.

  1. Don’t Quit–When you think you are ready to give up, keep pushing yourself. You are capable of more. Need some more motivation? See these five key strategies on authentic motivation!
  2. Be Kind – Remember when you were told this in Kindergarten? It still applies.  This is such a basic principle that we often lose sight of. Remember that there is an opportunity for this every day – hold a door, leave a tip, express to someone their importance to you or offer a compliment.
  3. Don’t Assume – You know what they say….I hope. Our assumptions often prevent us from truly connecting with one another. Check them when they come up to see if they are really based on a current perception or something from some other time and place.
  4. Push Yourself Further Than You Think You’re Capable of Going – This is how you can build your own self-efficacy. Try this in multiple areas of your life to boost confidence in relationships, fitness, finance, and career.
  5. Be Uncomfortable – I had a professor in graduate school, one of my best mentors to date. He ran a class on group therapy that focused on being mindful of your present experience and expressing it authentically.  He said something once that has always stuck with me – “If you are not on the edge of your seat sweating, you are not working hard enough.”  His point was that these times of discomfort, uncertainty, or insecurity are the times for action and areas we should move towards, not away from.  It’s OK to be uncomfortable, this is where we grow.
  6. Take Risks – Similar to being uncomfortable, taking risks is important. We cannot predict the future or know-how our decisions will impact us until we act! Taking risks towards growth in business, career or relationships is important.  Of course, understanding the risk is important too.  Prevent “paralysis by analysis” through taking action.
  7. Take on Your Fears – How are your fears getting in your way? Challenging your fear and moving past it means facing it.  Moving towards your fear through embracing it in whatever way you see fit, is a road to development.  For example – if your fear is of never getting a raise, then maybe the opportunity is to make a case for why you should have one, and bring it to your boss.
  8. Embrace Your Passions – Do you know what you are passionate about? This is part of what defines who you are.  Don’t let your passions come second, build a life around them and watch yourself flourish!
  9. Focus on Building Your Strengths – We often think we need to improve our weaknesses.  While there may be some good insight in understanding our challenges, improving our strengths is a greater predictor of success.  According to research by Gallup, identifying your top strengths and building them offers the greatest return on investment.  This is found to be true in many areas of life including work, hobby, and interpersonal relationships.
  10. Lead by Example and Be Congruent – Take time to understand what your truly value. Let Your Values Show in how you live your life.  If you are unsure, consider working with a therapist or coach.  Have you ever dealt with a boss, teacher or mentor that seemed to act in a different way than they promoted?  How did this sit with you?  I imagine that it was harder to take them seriously.  Should you want to be a better partner, leader, boss, parent or mentor – it is necessary to be an example of what you state is important.
  11. Take Action – Our intentions, thoughts, and plans are a great step but only part of a change we seek. Knowing is NOT half the battle. Remember this quote –“You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do.” – C.G. Jung
  12. Challenge Authority and Ask Questions – I think I have my mother to thank for this one. This lesson was ingrained in me at an early age, which I am grateful for. Remember that just because someone is in a position of authority doesn’t mean that they are in a position of truth. If something doesn’t resonate with you then ask questions, do your research and discover for yourself.   Remember that it is OK to ask!  If you don’t understand something or want to challenge it, then do so.  Staying in a frame of mind of uncertainty or ignorance puts you at a disadvantage.
  13. Stand Up for Others – There are injustices all around us. We see this on a large scale when we watch the news, witnessing hunger, war, manipulation, and other forms of chaos. However, we see this in our daily lives too.  At work when someone is isolated or picked on, in our social events when someone is not included, or in our family’s when someone is scape-goated.  These are all opportunities to stand up for others.
  14. Ask How You Can Support Others – Want to become more successful? Start asking others how you can help them instead of how they can help you. Just like building any relationship, supporting others builds rapport and a sense of trust. Not only will this come back to you but you get the chance to see others do well (see numbers two and 13).
  15. Embrace Abundance – I could easily do an entire post on this….maybe I will. Our focus on what lacks, what isn’t working, what we are scared of, what isn’t available to us; is all a mindset. This can be countered with a simple shift in perspective.  What if we believed in collaboration instead of competition?  What if we were convinced that there is plenty of opportunity, clients, resources, love, support, money, etc. out there?  Try it out, give yourself a challenge, and see what happens.

Thanks!

Michael

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The Pace of Change

 

The Pace of Change

Maintaining change takes time, and you will probably experience some hiccups along the way.  As you may have heard, change is not a sprint, it’s a marathon.  But what does this mean?  To me it means that to be successful with change there needs to be regular diligent practice over longer periods of time.  This isn’t the only key to maintaining change, but a key component.  Remember that to reach a change of pace you need to understand the pace of change.

I recently entered into a 100 day challenge, which I wrote about a few weeks ago.   This challenge is around being very intentional with my mornings.  This has proved to be an effective strategy in implementing a new change.  I have learned a lot about my strengths and challenges and what things push me back towards old habits.  I have taken an approach of diligence and curiosity though, not embracing failure when things didn’t go the way I expected.  This took some getting used to though.  Today is day 85 and by now my routine feels pretty normal, I’m enjoying it.

Any change in behavior or pattern takes time.  To help drive home the point of maintaining a successful change over time, I’ve created a reminder.  The reminder is to pace yourself.  To help you remember, consider this device –

P.A.C.E.

P – Patience

A – Acceptance

C – Control

E – Empathy

Interestingly, the terms patience, acceptance, control and empathy are all very important should you want to be successful with a change. Let me explain –

Patience – Since we know that change takes time, patience is of the utmost importance.  Often time’s changes are not successful because we don’t practice long enough, or wait out the new pattern long enough for it to truly set in.  Being patient in your process as you create a new way of being will lead you to continue on and not give up prior to completion.

Acceptance – In the midst of a new lifestyle, some days will be great, others not so much.  Accept this.  The fact that you’re having a bad day or that your practice in implementing a change was not as great as yesterdays, does not mean failure.  Some challenges may get in our way when we are in the midst of a change.  It is important to accept what may be out of our control.

Control – Very connected to acceptance, knowing what is in our control and what isn’t, is an important part of the path towards change.  However, the reason I separate acceptance from control is that ultimately we are in control of perception, just not the event that precedes it.  What this means is that when we are faced with challenges, we always get to control our own perception and interpretation towards the situation.  We have the choice to be victims or masters of our challenges.

Empathy – Times of change can be hard.  Having empathy for yourself through the process of change is crucial.  So what does self-empathy mean? It means staying connected to yourself in the process and allowing yourself to make mistakes along the way and knowing that it is ok.   Allowing yourself to make mistakes along the way and not giving up is a recipe for long lasting change.  For example, there will be times when you plan to implement a change or practice a new behavior and you get set back by old patterns and ways of being. Its ok to have setbacks, just don’t let those setbacks be translated into a quitting mindset.  Having empathy towards yourself will help to increase the likelihood of not giving up at setback and ultimately reaching your goals.

So next time you are facing a change or working through a goal, consider pacing yourself.

Questions to consider

What changes are you working towards?

How can you implement the PACE acronym in making your desired change successful?

What holds you back from taking action?

Please feel free to comment below with any answers to these questions, new ideas or other questions.

Best,

Michael

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Self Care

Self Care

 

Self care does not often come up as being a priority in our world of high expectations, busy schedules, constant distractions and technological bombardment. However, there is a shift happening with the awareness about the importance of self care.

As we build our understanding about the biology and neuroscience behind behavior, emotions, productivity, focus and fatigue we continue to bridge the gap between body and mind.  Some research implies that self care not only has an impact on one’s ability to perform but also an impact on organizations as a whole, as it relates to overall function.

Often times stress leads to conflict.  When we are stressed our patience is more limited.  So when we have conflict with loved ones, co-workers or the general public, our ability to respond appropriately is reduced.  The solution to this may be to take time out to care for yourself, so that you can reduce stress.

This is not surprising news.  When we feel better, can think clearly and are less stressed, we are more effective human beings.   So, regardless of what you do and what industry you are in, consider making your own care a priority.

I know that in my work, the better I feel the better I am at my work and relationships.   Since I initiated a more regimented self care routine, I have gained more clarity, productivity and a calmer presence.  But you shouldn’t take my word for it, or the research available.  Experiment, and see what you find when you start making yourself a priority!

Ways to Take Time Out for Yourself

Physical – Lifting weights, running, walking, snowboarding/skiing, surfing, take a class (spinning, cross fit, yoga, martial arts, Zumba etc.), hike, bike and sex.

Relational – Spend time with your family, partner and friends, go to a concert, get involved in a regular hobby or group oriented activity or sport.

Reflective – Journal, meditation, listen to music, go for a walk, deep breathing exercise, read.

General Health – 8+ hours of sleep per night, drink lots of water, eat nutritious whole foods.

What other ways can you take care of yourself?

Challenge of the Week!

  • List out your weekly self-care routine or goal.
  • Tag someone on social media that you think is interested in the challenge.
  • Share this post with the person you tagged.
  • Feel good about expanding awareness of why we should be taking care of ourselves so that we can take care of each other!

Cheers,

Michael

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