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Maintain Change Through Coaching

 

 

Maintain Change Through Coaching

Maintain Change Through Coaching

I was thinking recently about my own personal philosophy about how to really maintain change when searching for it, as well as how I bring this philosophy into my coaching practice.  As with most things I do, I take a holistic approach, which is the same for my coaching philosophy.   The following ideas can be taken as a guide to maintain change through coaching as well as a guide to understand how I work as a coach.

When working towards change, particularly when it comes to personal development, it is important to see all the aspects that may be helping or hurting progress.  We are complicated creatures.  Working towards the best version of ourselves is not just about thinking in a different way or practicing good habits (although these are pieces of the puzzle).

True change comes from evaluating all the aspects of our human experience.  When we look through all of our different lenses, we have the greatest likelihood for success.  We need to explore how we think, feel, act, take care of ourselves, strengths we have as well what/who we surround ourselves with.

As a helpful reminder for you, I’ve created a way to remember how you can check to see if you are evaluating the different parts of yourself and what may be helping or hurting your progress.  Consider the acronym CHANGE –

C – Cognition

H – Heart

A – Action

N – Nourishment

G – Greatness

E – Environment

Each part of this acronym has some important components to consider –

 

Cognition – The way we think.  Do you analyze, make decisions quickly, not quickly enough, make strong judgments, think poorly of yourself or too highly perhaps?  Both the way we think and what we focus on may be impacting our ability to change.

Heart – How we feel.  Our emotions play a big part in our ability to be successful.  If we can remain confident, happy, grateful, curious and positive then we may have a greater chance to work towards change.  If we are negative, depressed, sad, angry, overly reactive or closed off from our emotions we may have a harder time moving towards the change we are working on.  How we feel can also be related to our relationships and how they impact our ability to change.

Action – Habits and routines play a big role in our ability to change.  Thinking and feeling are important but it is the actions that we take that impact how our feelings and thoughts change.   Our action or inaction can play a big role in our ability to push things forward towards our desired outcome.

Nourishment – How we take care of ourselves.  It is not news that the way we eat, how much we exercise, and our general lifestyle all impact multiple facets of our lives.  This is the same for any change we are after. How we treat our body impacts our motivation, energy, creativity, strength and focus.  Considering how we are nourishing ourselves is important.

Greatness – What are your strengths, purpose, and passion? This is what makes up your greatness.  Exploring what is great about you not only leads to creating better leadership but also fulfillment, higher energy, better coping methods and a happier lifestyle.

Environment – What we surround ourselves with. I believe it was Jim Rohn who originally quoted – “We are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with.” This is a powerful quote and I believe it to be relevant.  When it comes to our own development, our environment goes beyond the people we are around.  Our environment could be our family, work, our city, community, or how our house looks and feels.   For example, if you know you function at a higher level when things are organized then keeping your house clean and in order may be an important factor in your own development.

All of these factors within the CHANGE acronym are important to explore during coaching.  When I work with clients this is part of the process I take them through.  My belief is that unless we focus on all of the potential areas that may be influencing our ability to make a change then we are leaving opportunity on the table.

It is also important to remember that any change one may be working towards takes time.  Remember that there is a particular pace that change takes. Be kind to yourself along the way.

Enjoy the journey,

Michael

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Purpose, Passion and Leadership

 

Purpose Passion and Leadership

Purpose Passion and Leadership

I was recently with a client and we were discussing coping methods.  Coping methods are ways to deal with challenges that we face as well as ways we can help to reduce troublesome symptoms we are dealing with. There are many traditional coping strategies – breathing techniques, exercise, meditation, walking, art, distraction methods, spending time with others etc.  Some of these techniques work well for some people while other techniques just don’t seem to fit.   In my experience, the ultimate coping method is always the one that is most in line with the individual.  This means that for a coping strategy to be most effective it has to connect with the person’s passion or purpose.  What I want to address today is how passion and purpose is connected to leadership.

So what do mental health coping methods have to do with leadership?  More than you think.  Leadership is in the midst of a shift.  This is mostly well known, however, old ways of leading still seem to be prevalent within some organizations.  What we are finding through research and effective training programs is that true leadership comes from inspiration, not from authoritarian demands or unapproachable hierarchy that pushes work downstream without consideration of how it impacts others.  True leaders are followed by those that are happy to be working for them because they feel inspired to do so.  Effective leaders build the next generation of leaders within any system and work in a way that is fueled by purpose and resonance with the mission at hand.

According to research by the Center for Creative Leadership, survey results show that 84% of respondents in organizations see leadership changing in the last 10 years.  The focus is shifting from an individual outcomes perspective to that of collaboration, teamwork and longer term objectives.

Another article by HR Magazine emphasizes that leadership is shifting towards less hierarchy and more inclusiveness and understanding of the needs of others.  To build an inclusive environment, one needs to lead through effective listening, empathy and to be leading through inspiration rather than demand.

Even in some environments where leadership may looked at as a harsher more demand oriented situation, this is not always the case.  For example, I was recently listening to one of Tim Ferriss’s podcast interviews where he interviewed General Stan McChrystal about his experience in the military.   One of the questions was  regarding what was one of General McChrystal’s pet peeves about how military life is depicted in the media.  His answer was great!  General McChrystal went on to discuss how even though he knew the stereotypical “hard” leaders in the military, that were cold, demanding and difficult to approach, this type of leader was less common.   He went on to report that the most effective leaders, and the majority, led by inspiring their teams and those they were leading.

So the question remains what do coping methods have to do with leadership?  Stick with me, we are on the way.   Since we know that the most effective leadership methods have to do with inspiring and engaging others rather than cold, hard demands, then the first question is this –

How do we build leaders that inspire?

One answer to this is found in the search for finding ones ideal coping method.   To be able to lead through inspiration means leaders have to understand what inspires them.  Being inspirational is achieved through truly knowing your own passion and purpose and then pursuing it.  Through creating congruence between what we value and how it is being expressed, we can explore our passion and purpose.  The days of “do what I say not what I do” are fading away.  Understanding what we are passionate about not only gives us an opportunity to be better leaders but also helps us to cope with stress and challenges more effectively.  If we combine our contagious passion with our ability to self-regulate, people will be truly inspired.

Finding ones passion and purpose may be complicated.  We may have some passions that are present in our professional lives and some that are more active in our non-work life.  For instance, an organizational leader may have a passion for sales in the work world but also have a passion for lifting weights in his non-work life.  This person may also know that they function at a higher level when they are actively pursuing both passions, in a sales role at work while using weight lifting as their non-work passion.  This example of weight lifting may be this person’s coping strategy in dealing with work stress, conflict or anxiety.  This person’s pursuit of this coping method not only impacts their ability to function outside of work, but makes them happier and more productive while in their work role.

Understanding what we are passionate about in and outside of work is important – and certainly impactful in both directions.   Focusing on our strengths and where we exceed, in addition to tapping into what helps us stay balanced, will create a great expression of our passion and purpose, and allow us to become true leaders.

I’ll leave you with these questions below –

What is your passion or purpose?

How did you discover it?

How do you actively pursue it?

Best,

Michael

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The Power of Personal Development Coaching

The Power of Personal Development Coaching - Arc Integrated

The Power of Personal Development Coaching – Arc Integrated

I was inspired by a good friend who asked me once – “Why would someone hire a coach?”   My thinking is that personal development coaching is relevant to any type of coaching.  It’s relevant because exploring our beliefs, behaviors, aspirations and expectations are reflected in our career, relationships or any change we are seeking.  These are all elements that contribute to the power of personal development coaching.

While there certainly could be many answers to my friend’s question, it had me curious about some statistics.  I wanted to find out specifically who and why people are generally using coaches.  It seems that through my digging, I’ve uncovered some truth to my original thought.   Before we dive into what I found, let’s look over what it means to be a coach.

Coaches can come with a variety of titles but most commonly seen are – Executive Coaches, Life/Personal Coaches, Leadership Coaches or Career Coaches.   Coaching has some similarities to therapy but is definitely different in the sense that there is not an emphasis on processing a particular pain or dysfunction and more emphasis on goal setting and personal optimization.  For more information see this article on Counseling vs. Coaching.

Coaches typically help individuals or organizations identify goals, set commitments and build on strengths to make individual or group changes that will influence improvement.   Coaching is definitely on the rise, as now more than 30 American universities have coaching programs.

The International Coaching Federation (ICF), the leading professional organization for coaches has about 25,000 in its membership.   Also according to the International Coaching Federation, the number of coaches in the nation has tripled in the last 10 years.  As stigma for coaching continues to go down and the coaching profession evolves, this numbered is expected to continue to grow.  Overall the two most reported conditions worked on through coaching are work-life balance and personal growth.  In another study by the ICF, coaching shows to improve many life domains from productivity to self-confidence.

Coaching is often found with organizations or with executives.  According to a study  The Miles Group and Stanford University – nearly 1/3 of all executives receive coaching, while 100% report to want it.   Also in this study, it was found that 43% of executives surveyed report that conflict management was a top priority when it comes to coaching.  It was found that leadership and communication skills also rank high in areas that are being coached on.

Interestingly though it may be some other skills that needed to be focused on when it comes to leadership and executive coaching.  Skills like compassion, empathy and self-awareness are starting to gain momentum due to the coaching field having less stigma.  In addition, according to research by Northwesterns School of Management, it is shown that as power increases, ability to understand how others feel and think, decreases.  This is where coaching on self-awareness and empathy may play a crucial role.  As someone’s responsibility and leadership increases so does the importance of their ability to connect with others, a crucial component of an effective leader.

According to a survey by the Harvard Business Review – while only 3% of coaches were hired to help address a personal issue, 76% report to have assisted executives with personal issues.  This again points back to the fact that even in “executive coaching” scenarios, there is a key focus on personal development.   This survey also found that the most success was found in individuals who were willing to address personal issues and had a desire to learn and grow.

So the question becomes – “is coaching worth it?”  According to a study by Manchester Consulting Group who looked at Fortune 100 executives who had received coaching, there was an ROI six times the coaching program cost.  Coaching resulted in improvements in relationships, teamwork and job satisfaction.

To me it depends on level of commitment and readiness for change.  If someone is certain that they are ready to take a look inward to determine what is creating a barrier to success, then coaching could be a great avenue for this!

Best,

Michael

 

P.S. If you are curious to learn more about personal development, effective workplace culture, dynamic leadership  and a wide variety of other topics, sign up today! www.arcintegrated.com/book.  It’s totally free.

You’ll also receive Chapter One (for FREE) from the upcoming book – CHANGES.  This book explores seven themes of sustainable change so that you can finally achieve the professional and personal goals you have been striving for but keep missing. 

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Self Care

Self Care

 

Self care does not often come up as being a priority in our world of high expectations, busy schedules, constant distractions and technological bombardment. However, there is a shift happening with the awareness about the importance of self care.

As we build our understanding about the biology and neuroscience behind behavior, emotions, productivity, focus and fatigue we continue to bridge the gap between body and mind.  Some research implies that self care not only has an impact on one’s ability to perform but also an impact on organizations as a whole, as it relates to overall function.

Often times stress leads to conflict.  When we are stressed our patience is more limited.  So when we have conflict with loved ones, co-workers or the general public, our ability to respond appropriately is reduced.  The solution to this may be to take time out to care for yourself, so that you can reduce stress.

This is not surprising news.  When we feel better, can think clearly and are less stressed, we are more effective human beings.   So, regardless of what you do and what industry you are in, consider making your own care a priority.

I know that in my work, the better I feel the better I am at my work and relationships.   Since I initiated a more regimented self care routine, I have gained more clarity, productivity and a calmer presence.  But you shouldn’t take my word for it, or the research available.  Experiment, and see what you find when you start making yourself a priority!

Ways to Take Time Out for Yourself

Physical – Lifting weights, running, walking, snowboarding/skiing, surfing, take a class (spinning, cross fit, yoga, martial arts, Zumba etc.), hike, bike and sex.

Relational – Spend time with your family, partner and friends, go to a concert, get involved in a regular hobby or group oriented activity or sport.

Reflective – Journal, meditation, listen to music, go for a walk, deep breathing exercise, read.

General Health – 8+ hours of sleep per night, drink lots of water, eat nutritious whole foods.

What other ways can you take care of yourself?

Challenge of the Week!

  • List out your weekly self-care routine or goal.
  • Tag someone on social media that you think is interested in the challenge.
  • Share this post with the person you tagged.
  • Feel good about expanding awareness of why we should be taking care of ourselves so that we can take care of each other!

Cheers,

Michael

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Letting Go of Fear

Letting Go of Fear

Letting Go of Fear

The question of “how to let go of fear” often comes up with the clients I work with, as well as in my own life of course.  I think this is a complicated issue. There are many kinds of fears that exist in our lives, each one presenting specific challenges.  In starting this new business I find myself wrestling with lots of professional fears.  Questions like – Am I qualified for this?  What can I charge?  Can I afford to take this professional risk?

These questions are all based on fear of failure or incompetence.  The truth is that I have many years of educational and professional experience to draw from and that I am definitely qualified for what I am doing.  So why is there still fear?

In my work with individuals regarding professional fears, what often comes up is the fear of pursuing what is most meaningful to them.  This fear is often based in belief that says “there are not jobs available,” “the market is too saturated,” “I don’t have the credentials,” or many other beliefs. While some of these fears are more concretely rooted in actual barriers, I believe that letting go of the limiting belief is the first fear to address.

Letting go of limiting beliefs is liberating

Consider the following ideas –

  • There isn’t enough (work, money, opportunity etc.)
  • There is only scarcity
  • All others in my field are competitors

What if we shift our perspective to thoughts like –

  • There is more room for my service or business
  • Other people in my field can be my collaborators
  • There is an abundance of work available

This shift in perspective can of course be applied to other kinds of fears as well, not just professional.  Changing a belief or perspective may create some paths to progress.  Fear inhibits progress in a number of ways –

  • Inhibiting creativity
  • Reducing insight and understanding of alternative perspectives
  • Acts against motivation for action

How would this shift in perspective open up new opportunities for you?

What I have found in my own life, as well as what works for my client’s, is taking small steps in the direction of a change I want to pursue is the best course of action.  It’s easy to say – “you just have to decide to let go of your fear” but this is a bit vague.  I think that creating some kind of regular, consistent practice that promotes empowerment can help to reduce fear, as long as it is practiced regularly.

For example, if your practice is to attend networking events in an effort to improve your business and challenge your introversion, then this should be practiced weekly in short periods rather than attending long events but inconsistently.

What I have found in my own life as well as those I’ve worked with is that overcoming any professional fear only opens up new opportunity and possibility.   Letting go of fear is empowering.  Empowerment is often accompanied by change.  If you are choosing to face a fear, be prepared, things may not be the same afterwards.  For example, addressing a professional fear may result in the following –

  • New awareness about a direction to take
  • Career change
  • Promotion
  • Retirement
  • Going back to school
  • Increased confidence

Three Tips for Addressing Fear –

  1. Take time to understand what you really want.  What is the fear really based on?
  2. Taking the time to figure out where the fear comes from and what it is connected to may open up new awareness about a direction to take.  Once you understand what you truly want, then start taking small steps in that direction. Do the research to determine some of the steps that you need to take to set you on the path that you want. If you are unsure, consider working with a coach or mentor.
  3. Set small achievable goals that can be built upon. Put into place a daily routine that works towards overcoming the fear.   Prove to yourself that your fear can be conquered, and then your belief in what is possible will change.

Best,

Michael

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Planning a Workshop – An Introduction

 

how to plan a workshopPath to Synergy will be presenting a workshop this spring. The workshop is titled – “Are Our Brains Holding Us Back? Understanding and Managing Unconscious Bias.” This workshop will be held in Asheville, NC on March 13th, 2015. For more information, or to register, CLICK HERE.
When forming our initial idea around how to create this particular workshop, we went through a couple of drafts and approaches. We learned a number of things from this process which I would like to share. Here are five basic considerations for building and planning a workshop.

1.) Getting specific about a training topic

In my experience with both attending trainings as well as providing them, there always seems to be less time than content. This is relevant when determining a topic because being very specific will not only help to flesh out the idea but this may also help in pairing down the time.

2.) Do some research

Seeing what other kinds of similar workshops are out there can be great way to decide how to make a training stand out. In addition, if it seems the training topic is overly saturated and there are limited areas to expand, then perhaps another topic or variation would be better.

3.) Outline the time, day or number of days

Filling out the main objectives down to the hour can be a great way to start seeing the training take shape. Consider some blocks being 30 minutes while others may go to an hour or 1.5 hours. In addition, if the training is more than one day, fill in the larger time frames for all days. Be sure to include breaks and lunch time.

4.) Fill in the times specifically, down to 15 minute intervals

Being specific about how things may flow with every 15 minutes will help to reduce the chance for either over planning or not having enough material to fill the expected time frame. When building in breaks, be sure to space them out appropriately so that attendees have time to get engaged with the activity or session but also don’t get too restless.

5.) Be prepared for things to not go as planned, i.e.; be prepared to improvise

Rehearsing the training is a must! Depending on how much opportunity you offer for questions, this could drastically change the flow of your design. In addition, questions may inadvertently come up, so be prepared to be flexible. For longer activities or presentations it may be helpful to have a second plan for how to cover the material. Also, consider prioritizing what material is most important, in case time runs out.

As a consultant, counselor, educator or therapist, hosting a workshop can be a great way to connect with the community and share expertise on a number of topics. Remember, finding an idea that is within the field is of course relevant, but finding an idea that you are really passionate about may make the difference in the overall success of the workshop. If you can find something that you can speak about intelligently and also feel energized by, this will not only make the experience more fun to create and facilitate, but also more impactful on your audience.

Best!

Michael

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Counseling Skills in Business

When considering how a field like counseling or psychology may be relevant in business, one thing that comes to mind is the idea of change.  In the fast pace environment that most companies exist in, change is one constant that we can count on.  Whether this means a merger, a management shift, an organizational restructuring or simply a new hire, the business’s challenge is how to adjust to these shifts regularly.  Those in a supervisory role are tasked with how they can improve management skills to impact employee performance.  The following is an example of a management skill that supervisors can utilize to impact change.

An orientation in counseling that also works as a people management skill, is an approach called Motivational Interviewing (MI). MI is defined as “A collaborative conversation to strengthen a person’s own motivation for and commitment to change”.  This approach focuses on ambivalence towards change and works with an individual to increase motivation for change.  When discussing the ambivalence towards a change, one strategy to consider within MI, is called “OARS” (Open Ended Questions, Affirmation, Reflections and Summary).  The communication style of “OARS” is only a small part of MI.  However, when working with employees, managers and executives, “OARS” can be utilized to help understand why/how a change is taking place and what obstacles stand in the way.  The idea behind “OARS” is that the person using this strategy is asking open ending questions, affirming what the other has to say, reflecting on their statements and summarizing what they are saying in order to build clarity.

For example, a manager is trying to decide the most effective way to approach an employee and address performance issues.  The communication style of “OARS” utilized in MI may be particularly helpful when looking at what kinds of changes this employee needs to make in order to get the expected results.  A challenge many managers face is how to elicit a change without making the employee resentful or offended.  If a manager is particularly savvy, they will understand the value of inspiring an employee to make a change, rather than coercing. MI can help make the process of inspiring change more effective, through reducing an employee’s ambivalence and address the advantages of making this change.  MI has been effective in helping people address a change they are uncertain of, as well as address how to go about making it.  For more information on MI, please see- www.motivationalinterviewing.org

Thank you!

Michael

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Starting a Counseling and Consulting Practice

Greetings!  This is the first of many blog posts, so if you are reading this….thank you!  I wanted to start out reflecting about my experiencing of starting a consulting and counseling practice.  So far this has been an exciting, fear provoking, confusing and fun experience.   At the most this may give you something to work with, if you are a practitioner considering going out on your own, and at the very least – some entertainment.  So, here are 5 of the pieces that have stood out to me thus far, as I wind through learning how to establish a business.

Website

Writing a website, or at least the content for it, was quite the task.  It is not as easy as I thought it may have been to develop explanation for all the little pieces that begin to seem so necessary.  It has been interesting to balance between functionality, promotion, flare and professionalism….seems like a bit of an art.

The website is now active and although I feel pretty good about it, I think that it will be in a constant state of development (www.www.arcintegrated.com).   I would like to offer a huge thank you to RTS Consulting (www.rtsadvantage.com) and Sean King, who helped me to design and develop the website.  Sean was a patient and extremely helpful guide in this process.

I recognized recently that just the exercise of writing content for the website was valuable in and of itself.  This exercise forced me to look at what my values are, which parts of my work experience I want to draw from or emphasize, as well as how I am choosing to describe and present myself in a way that is more expansive than a resume or LinkedIn profile.

Expenses, Income and Budgeting

One of the great things about starting this business is that it has pushed me towards being more aware of where all the money is being spent and earned.  What I mean to say, is that if I am to be successful, I am now forced to really track my expenses and income.    This has actually been more fun than expected.   Before going out totally independent as a consultant/subcontracted therapist and therapist in private practice, I did some research on how to track things.   For this first year I have decided to track things on my own, rather than buying a program like Quick Books.  So far, this method seems to work well.  I’ve set up an excel spreadsheet where I can track all incoming money as well as all expenses and other details.   My hope is that come tax time, my accountant will approve of this process, I think he will.  I imagine as things continue to grow, I will make a move to a more sophisticated method of tracking, but for now, what I have works well.  I keep many more receipts and spend more time in a database tracking money than before.  Overall, I think tracking things helps me manage money more effectively and gives me a better perspective of my spending habits in general.

Client database management

When I decided I wanted to start seeing clients through my own practice I knew I wanted to have digital record keeping instead of tracking notes on paper.  Since I also knew I wanted to do distance counseling, I was able to find a way to integrate them both.  I found a service that allows me to see clients in a HIPAA protected platform, but also allows me to keep track of client information, take notes, create invoices, etc.  I’m still exploring this service but so far it seems great! The name of the service is Counsol (www.counsol.com).  I understand that there are many options out there for client management, notes and record keeping.  Although I only have experience with this one, I would definitely recommend it as an option.

Networking and Marketing

So far the networking piece has been the easiest for me.  I am naturally inclined to network anyway, and have experienced much success with this in the past.  My belief is that our ability to connect with others is a highly under-rated tool that we all have.  With social media at the tips of our fingers at every waking moment, it has become much easier to connect with people and let them know what the latest professional or personal news is, whether they like it or not.    However, I think that there is much added value from talking with people over coffee/lunch about what we are doing and how we may be able to help each other.  I continue to be surprised how simply setting up informational meetings and talking about what I am doing, continues to lead to more and more opportunity.

Social Media

I’m probably on the lower end of the spectrum when it comes to social media user knowledge, but I’m learning!  I have not personally used anything else other than Facebook, so there was a definite learning curve here.  I realize the importance of utilizing social media, so I am all for it.  I highly recommend utilizing tools that can populate multiple social media accounts.  I have used a service called Hoot Suite (www.hootsuite.com) which I would recommend.   Deciding on what to tweet, post, blog about feels a little intimidating so far, although I’m sure this will pass.  It seems that the more I write the easier it may be to decide on material and continue to offer ideas.

 

This list of five is definitely not a conclusive list, but these parts of setting up this business continue to stand out for me.  It seems that with some research, enthusiasm, determination and intention, that starting a practice has been a great process!  I look forward to what’s ahead.

 

Thanks for reading!

Michael

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